Disclaimer: this post will probably be more interesting for practicing Christians. Most Christians still don’t have sex before they get married. And those who’ve become serious about their faith after having previous sexual encounters choose to live in abstinence, until they get married.
So, if you are not a Christian, great! By all means, keep reading about what these dinosaurs are up to these days. And if you are one, then I hope to encourage and humor you in your abstinence struggle and make you feel a bit better about this whole sex thing.
When I was single, I used to think very funny things about married people. Every time some of my friends would get married, and every time I would see them after the wedding, I would think that they pretty much just have sex all the time. Everywhere, for hours.
And when they come to some social gatherings, and all hug and cuddle somewhere, holding a drink and having a friendly chat with someone else, I would think, “man, they talk and laugh, as if nothing is happening between them. As if they didn’t just have sex and did all that…stuff to each other. How can they just hang out and chill without blushing and being awkward? Don’t they feel ashamed?
Uh. (Massive eye roll).
I would sometimes get mad at my married friends. Because they could just go home and have wild sex with their spouses and not struggle with vicious hormones in their body, spirit and soul — they could just go for it, DO it!
And do they even care about us, singles? Do they remember the agony of hornyness with no outlet except a deep chat about some cute guy(s) with your other single, slightly depressed, horny friend(s)?
Those memories somehow conveniently vanish, I used to think. And all those comforting words about me, one day, finding a husband didn’t really comfort much. The married, indifferent-to-human-sufferings species would become more and more distant and cold.
“These married people. How can they even…..” (Medium eye roll).
Now, being married, I can look back and laugh at myself. I don’t laugh at my single friends though. Never. I empathize. I know I am one of those married beasts now, and I try to be careful with what comes out of my mouth when someone asks me, “So, how was your day? What did you do today with Sean? How is it to be married (you insatiable sex monster)?”
I think I actually know what some of them are thinking. I genuinely do remember the relatively recent single life and I sometimes take the risk and answer their thoughts. Then I laugh with a very natural wave of the hand and a slight tilt of my head, only to notice my single friends painfully laughing back at my insensitive jest.
This is a mystery, says the Bible. Marriage is a huge mystery and I guess that explains, at least just a little bit, the awkwardness after the wedding night. The married person didn’t grow a third limb overnight, but something huge happened. A significant, permanent change that takes adjustment for both parties, — single and married.
And, my dear single friend, your time will come. And if it doesn’t (although statistically, many more people get married than stay single for the rest of their lives), I know God won’t leave you hanging. He created you, after all. He knows exactly what you’re going through.
Just make sure you don’t become a hater like me. These married people didn’t do anything wrong, honestly. They just waited long enough to now enjoy their well-deserved, God-given gift of great wild sex 😉
Header image by Kristina Flour
